ASK DAY: We've Been Talking For Months, But He Won't Ask Me Out
June 1, 2016
I've been talking to this guy on and off for about four months. When we do talk he's always flirting and talking about wanting to see me and sending me good morning/goodnight texts. Whenever he has talked about wanting to see me, I have always told him I would be down to get together sometime. But the thing is, he hasn't actually asked me out on a date in all this time, and I would feel weird being the girl and asking him out on the first date. I don't wanna come off desperate, but I'm confused by his mixed signals and I'm starting to feel like this is going nowhere. Should I ask him why he hasn't asked me out?
Confused And Frustrated
Dear Confused and Frustrated,
You are not unreasonable for expecting to have gone on a date by now. After 4 months, a person knows damn good and well whether or not they're actually interested in dating someone.
But, as far as asking him why he hasn't asked you out yet? Not a good idea, because he'll most likely have one of two responses:
1. He might change the subject, brush you off, or dismiss you... and still not ask you out.
2. He might ask you out, but you guys will both know that he only did it because you asked, and not because he wanted to.
Either way, it would create an awkward situation, where you appear desperate. We don't want that.
Rather than ask him why he hasn't asked you out, your best bet is to step back and think about whether this is working for you. In all honesty, this guy seems to just be a flirt, who is all talk and no action. If you're cool with just flirting back and forth via text (and nothing more), then it works out. But, you seem to want more than that. So, you might wanna start looking for a guy who wants the same thing you do.